Act 2: Improvements and Becoming the worst

First of all.... its been a long time since i last posted a blog here and there are so many reasons why...... besides of being busy in college.... im also busy finding some answers..... im so confused right now about myself... who am I?!?!?1 i really don't know... i think i have created this fantasy since high school and its so difficult to come out of it... i think i really needs somebody's attention.. somebody who i could talk to.... somebody who can give me answers (not me of course) i cannot...... I am so depressed right now... it's now obvious when you see me... because im living in my own world where there are no problems..... but inside im overflowing of it.... haixt.... how i wish i could turn back the time and fix it right when its started.... actually i think it would be all fixed when i can go back at about 8 years when i am still in grade 3... back when i stab my classmate with my ball point pen when everyone started to hate and avoid me..... haixt... how i wish i could erase it... i think its just me stuck on that situation i dont know how i could escaped.... its so hard... now it is even more hard.... there are greater problems all piled up inside me.... wait... im going to search the net for some answers....(searching...) blah blah blah.... it said that i should get some help or something... i need counselling.... so it ends here... anyone who would want to listen and maybe give some advice.... i need some third party people whom would listen and would be neutral in making some points... just pm me mharvz_16@yahoo.com.ph.... NOTE: there are secrets that im going to tell which may be very confidential not only to me.... so i need someone who could keep a secret